I’ve been cheating on you.
Our affair began almost a year ago and the thing is, I kind of like it. I thought it was just a fleeting romance, but as the relationship deepened it became harder and harder to break things off.
Before you say all men are pigs and try to assign blame, I want you to know that it’s not just a physical thing.
My relationship with you has mostly been a one-way street of affection and communication. Facebook is so much more attentive and really listens to what I have to say. With Facebook I get feedback and encouragement. Facebook treats me like a person and not just some object. All you seem to want from me is to find out what my sexual proclivities are. In the beginning I found it flattering, but now, well, it’s just too voyeuristic and creepy.
You know what our problem has always been? Your emotional unavailability. You’re so afraid to open up to me and tell me how you feel.
I tell you my feelings. I share my thoughts and ideas with you. And yet you continue to remain silent. Frankly, it’s demoralising.
Did you ever stop to wonder why I’d withdrawn from you in recent months? It wasn’t just because I was busy all the time. It was also because I no longer saw the point of trying to reach out to you.
Look, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I felt that I owed you the truth.
All that said, I’ll always care about you and will continue to keep the door to our relationship open – but if there’s any hope of us reconciling in the future, you’re going to have to try to win me back somehow.
Take care and remember to feed the plants when I’m gone.
*You’ve no doubt gathered that this is a joke (sort of). What I’m really saying is that in light of my increasingly demanding schedule I’m going to populate this blog with articles inspired by my bite-sized ‘Flashback Friday’ posts on my Facebook page.
UPDATE : I’ve since unpublished my Facebook page. Here’s why.